Unlearning to Live Whole

I grew up believing certain things.
Not because I chose them,
but because they were handed to me
before I was old enough to question.
Before I understood who I was,
expectations were already placed on my shoulders.
Norms were already written for me to follow.
I was told to believe, not to analyze.
To conform, not to ask.

One of those beliefs sounded noble.
Work harder.
Be consistent.
People are depending on you.
Even when you’re tired, act fine.
Don’t fail those looking up to you.
And that belief isn’t entirely wrong.
But it is incomplete.

So we worked.
We poured.
We showed up for everyone.
We cared more about impact
than about our own well-being.
But no one told us
that we are just as important
as the people we were sent to.

Now I’m older.
And I know better.
My purpose is not to live for others alone.
It is to live whole first,
so I can give from a place of health,
not exhaustion.

Taking care of myself is not selfishness.
It is wisdom.
It is obedience.
Because what happens
when you neglect your body,
your mind,
your soul
in the name of service,
and there’s no life left
to fulfill the assignment?
I am important too.

Working on myself is purpose.
Self-love is not a distraction.
Self-care is part of the plan.
People will not only be inspired
by how I help them,
but by how I honor myself.
So I am unlearning false beliefs.
I am choosing to live whole.
Not by society’s expectations,
but by the path God has ordained for me.
This time,
I will live.
Not drained.
Not empty.
But complete.

By Faith Ogunode

Educator